You and your best friend are pretty much siblings. You call and text each other everyday, you know each others coffee orders, and borrow each other’s clothes like they are your own. Not to mention you speak so many inside jokes that anyone else listening can hardly understand what you both are on about...
So when it comes the time where you both want to flee the family home, you think its pretty clear that the perfect candidate for someone joining you on your semi-solo journey would quite easily be your best mate. LOOK NO FURTHER?
Well during my time of living out of home & with friends, I have discovered that it is to my suprise, quite the contrary. Crusading into a nifty new apartment with your best gal pal and your blow up floaty toys in hand isn’t all just funny snap chats and endless glasses of rosè. Now before you get ahead of yourself, I don’t have nancy on the phone, living with friends can be incredible, I am simply suggesting that you consider how things might play out when you and your inseparable friend decide to make life a permanent slumber party.
Where do I start? The first thing i will say is that your friendship with each other most likely worked so well in the first place because at the end of the day, you didn’t go home with each other (well most of the time). When you decide to live with each other, your relationship ultimately intensifies and you begin to learn about each other in a new and often confronting light. Not sure what im on about? Consider this….
You are about to have maintenance day in the shower and suddenly you find your expensive Moroccan keratin rich shampoo is almost empty, the outfit you had planned to wear is found in the wash and you can’t find a single clean fork to sit down and eat your left overs from work that you've just heated up. You decide that’s its probably not a big enough deal to bring up in conversation until you go to wipe your ass and there is no toilet paper after just last week you had gone out and bought a 6 pack of home brand toilet paper...
Kinda sounds annoying right? But they are your best friends so…. Whatever?
The reality is that when you live with your friends, that weird barrier of awkwardness and politeness when you are living with complete randoms just simply isn’t there. Living with friends means you probably feel more comfortable leaving your dirty dishes in the sink if you are running late for work. Or you think its ok to invite your boyfriend around on a daily basis because he already is friends with your roommate?? Well truth is that you are probably being blind to a simmering problem with your housemates. You most likely assume that what you are doing is all sweet, when really your roommate is boiling with anger but suffering in silence. It is important to recognise that you may be crossing the line in what is fair when living with each other and that's where things get sticky. So how does your best friend address you with her issues when the extent of your hard conversation usually involves what to caption a insta photo?
Living with friends still requires respect and compromise. Remind yourself that you are living with friends and not your mum, they shouldn't pick up after you nor should they be taken advantage of. So what is the best way to avoid all this?
ESTABLISH GROUND RULES EARLY .
Here is just some questions to consider..
· Is there a special cup you like to use for your tea?
· How are you all going to buy the essentials? (toilet paper, salt & pepper, BBQ sauce etc)
· Are you a light sleeper?
· Do family or friends pay if they crash?
· Where do we all stand on parties/ get-together's?
· Do you mind roommates borrowing your clothes? How about makeup?
· Do you work weird hours and need absolute quiet when you sleep?
· How often are you all going to do a big clean?
· Does the frying pan go in the dishwasher? (my personal fave)
These are just some basic living standards and personal requirements that need to be sprawled on the table prior to moving in, and if you don’t do this, be sure to see a group facebook chat with complaints or passive aggressive post-its around the house.
To give some light to all this and make myself clear, I am not flat out saying that living with friends is a complete no-go zone. In fact, I have also found living with friends and best friends a beautiful and overwhelmingly heart-warming experience. Last year I lived with 6 girls for about 4 months and although at times we were frustrated with each other, we all whole-heartedly adored each other. These girls were all unique, clever and happy souls who were overwhelmingly sharing, caring and forgiving. I enjoyed getting to know all of them in a personal tits out is fine kinda way.
Each one brought something different to the table and always lent me an ear as poured out my (first world problem) issues often over a glass of red or Jindy’s local Indian. Yes I didn’t enjoy the frying pan frequently in the dishwasher and they probably didn’t like that I used their toothpaste from time to time (maybey always)… but regardless we learnt to respect each other and got along, not to mention i loved the company.
Sure, some were messier than others, some partied more etc but at the end of a long shitty day, let me tell you that there is nothing better than coming home and seeing one of your buddies standing with open arms ready to embrace you aided with a glass of red and a big smile.
LOVE YOU > Kenny, Madi, Jules, Sass, Hannah, Kadi xxx