“Hey 2019, wow this feels so good -the NYE countdown and that pash really just enveloped me.. I’m a new woman/man!”- said every person ever……..”
So you’ve nursed your filthy New Year’s hangover, your perception of what day it is has slowly come back into focus and you’ve got yourself a brand new spanking diary and you know what? IT FEEELS GEEWD.
You stride through the first weeks of January with your Aussie summer glow as you prepare to face good old faithful… ‘the real’ world or the grill plate if you will. That is until.. the Aussie day long weekend unravels us again.
So- a new year ? new me ? right….. Well, here I am! How come I don’t look different? How come I don’t feel different? Wow those cocktails have really gone to my thighs..do I need to join the F45 cult? How come I’ve had zero summer lovin?
Ah well f*** it.. I’ll just go ahead and whip myself into third gear and start working on the colossal of ideas I would like to morph into. Should be easy enough right?
I’m going to be fit, I’m going to eat clean, I’m going to earn ** much money, I don’t care about ‘XYZ’ that hurt me last year, I’m going to meditate every day, read, be flexible, travel far and be the best friend ever, and oh that’s right I’m going to do art classes and knitting and make goal story boards. -too much?
Well truth be told, we all do this- no newsflash there!! You know what? That’s perfectly okay. Nothing wrong with a burst of positivity and motivation from time to time. But unfortunately motivation can be fleeting - it is cold, hard discipline that will carry us all towards meeting these resolutions.
So I would like to take the opportunity right here, right now to get some things clear with myself.
I am not the different person from last year, but nor am I , the same..
Sure I woke up in Byron on the first day of the year on a couch with a disgusting hangover, but that doesn’t change the essential essence of ‘me’.
So what are my resolutions? And how will I achieve them instead of the good old ‘ah well stuff came up’?
2018 almost completely destroyed me physically, emotionally and mentally. It was a pressing year of my life, in fact there was a point where I felt completely depleted. I’m sure we all go through this at some point but it really is the only time we grow! The crap times, the times when you lose someone, when you lose your passport, when you lose your job, when you just lose it ! Whatever it is - it is those sh** times from which we fundamentally grow and learn.
I read something recently that I really connected with.. it was ‘a little bit more’ and I have decided it’s become my thing for 2019. So what am I going to do a little bit more off you say?
—> Here’s how I see it all playing out. (fingers crossed)
Give ‘a little bit more’ room for positivity
Everything in life is really only what you perceive. Our brains are so much more powerful than we ever could imagine. I’m not saying we have to lace ourselves with a smile everyday all day but we can CHOOSE to offset the crappy feeling with something positive.
This really doesn’t come naturally for me, I have always been trained to find out ‘where I went wrong’ or ‘what I could’ve done better’. Unfortunately for me… that glass is always going to appear half empty, it’s something that is so very hard to un-train! However without putting too much pressure on myself this is how I would like to look like this year.
“ that glass is half full, well at least I have some water!”
“ I’m heart broken and alone, well at least I’m growing, I’m learning and expanding”
If I can’t change my immediate approach, then I will at least try to help change my perception as best as I can. Let that positivity move mountains!
Enjoy alone time ‘a little bit more’.
I don’t need to stay inside journaling every school night or ban myself from a plethora of dating apps (or do I?) But I do need to tap into my own thoughts. This requires being alone before I wind up in bed at 11pm with thoughts swirling on a worry loop, wondering why I can’t get to sleep.
I was recently asked if I was scared of my own thoughts. I actually found it hard to answer. Am I scared of my own thoughts? Only one way to find out..
So YES - this year I am a single girl. It’s a time for a little bit more exploration, more alone time, possibly reading some more books, just eat, pray, love baby.
Less of this:
‘hey wanna get a coffee?’
‘hey wanna go for a surf and waiting for a reply’
‘just scrolling the feed when I’m alone’
A little bit more of just bloody well go do it yourself girl, you’ve got this!
A little bit more healthy
Did our brain just quickly divert straight to food? No I’m not quitting coffee or alcohol because God knows that’s some crazy talk!
Be more healthy...what does that even mean? For me it is not about the food thing at all. Sure I eat quite late and also smash Ben n Jerry’s on the reg, but this one is about actually investing time and money into my health. This means that I go and see a psychologist, that I get a massage if I need one, that I pay for a gym membership because it’s a good idea or I go see a physio or a chiropractor when the need arises.
Somewhere in my archives, I have developed a resistance to dropping any money on health and I have no explanations or good reasons as to why not! So this year is about abandoning the ‘she’ll be right vibe’ and inserting a little bit more of ‘actually I kind of need a little bit of help’.
Saying ‘NO’ a little bit more
If anyone knows me well, they will know I have a large amount of friends paired with a rubber arm that can pretty much get me to do anything. I’m like a dog… wave some red wine in front on my face and I’m yours.
My issue is often trying to keep every friend happy, but really can you keep everyone happy? Logistically I just don’t have the time.. I mean no one does! This is something that gets me really wound up. In fact I have now been nicknamed ‘Groups’ because I create so many groups on Facebook towing everyone in (sorry in advance!). More often than not, I’ll get a reply something along the lines of
“ I can’t I’m sorry I have to.. “
- Go to yoga
- Go to the gym
- Do my washing
- I’m busy editing
- Not tonight Faz
- I have plans
At that is perfectly fine! Why don’t I do that and invest in myself instead of getting torched on wine once AGAIN!
So to those out there who are like me…
You cannot please everyone,
It’s ok to be a little selfish and it’s ok to say NO.
I know I won’t change too much on this as I am a people person, but like I said I can only try ‘a little bit more’.
A little bit more conscious
This ones for everyone!
Overcome habit, overcome rushing and do something every day that helps you to recalibrate, reset and refresh. Towards the end of last year I struggled to get out of bed, I was heartbroken, exhausted, unenthusiastic and not sure of what I wanted to do. I was living unconsciously…
I googled ‘morning motivation’ and the first clip is pretty much a just a mash up of inspiring one liners but something in there really hit home with me. It got me going, it empowered me and brought me into my conscious body of the things that I could control, not what I couldn’t.
Here are some dot points I want to focus on in terms of living more ‘consciously’
- Take a keep cup! Our earth needs us and besides.. they are trendy now!
- Eat mindfully- try eat some meals without looking at a screen!
- Journal your day in a diary, face those thoughts.
- Drink more water (cliché I know)
- Practice gratitude on the reg!
It is important to know that my ‘a little bit more list’ is not based around a calendar driven obligation, it’s is purely a reflection of my last year.
Shake your own hand, agree to make room for these ‘little bit mores’ and watch the universe help you along the way. Whether it’s to be a little kinder, a little more passionate, a little more spontaneous or a little more forgiving - welcome it into your life and take on the transition. Another lap around the sun and its new year, same you… different shit.