5 things you should be doing if you're 25.
“FIVE MORE YEARS TILL YOU’RE THIRTY” she said to me loud and clear on my 25th birthday… I know, I know I said brushing it off, but those few words hit me like a tonne of bricks.
‘Only five years till I’m thirty!
Honestly where has time gone?
At 25 things seemingly get real, those big girl pants are really on now. We never get to have a farewell dinner with our youth, we don’t unfriend them on Facebook it simply just leaves leaving behind a letter in the mail with the demand to get your own health care and cheaper car insurance.
Thanks NRMA, I get it, I get it I’M OLD NOW.
And just when we seemingly forget about our age and wake up on a Sunday with blurry eyes.. Instagram and Facebook kindly reminds us again that not everyone our age had a big night.
“Another rowdy Sat night in …” they will caption their photo whilst nursing their baby bump or with their bestie drinking a glass of red with a face mask on as though they are a burns victim.
Then come the monumental;
‘I’m adulting’ pics.
This means, more pics of men on one knee, more couples standing happily in front of a ‘SOLD’ sign. The baby bump progress pics are always on the feed and then suddenly we are congratulating someone on Linked in for the promotion they’ve landed.
Well I’m seemingly running behind the pack. Am I jealous or envious? I just don’t know.
Research suggests that the brain is fully developed by the age of 25. So if you know me now, I’ll probably be this personality for the rest of my life. An odd realisation nonetheless. With this in mind, I can’t help but draw comparisons...well if my brain and body is developed, should my life be?
There are endless lists about being 25 and what we should have, stop doing, or have accomplished or what your life will look like and you know what? I call bullshit, I mean yes a hangover will start to take longer to get over and we can’t exactly eat whatever we want anymore but everything else? Well there seems to be no median but rather a giant swing. Some start Uni, some are pregnant, some are travelling, some are buying places or moving up the ranks their career- it really just does not matter.
In search for clarity about being 25, I reached out the world of Facebook and asked what people thought about being 25 and what we should have ‘all worked out’. The responses were overwhelming….
“ Don’t base your happiness on other people’s standards, expectations or achievements. “
“Save a bit of money- you never know when you may need it.”
“Your 20’s are just an extension of your teen years. You don’t need to figure everything out in your 20’s so let go of any self imposed pressure. And ps it just keeps getting better and better as you age! 💪🏽🎉”
The responses ranged far and wide and from them + my own opinions I created my five things we should be doing.
1. STOP comparing, no really stop it.
I am hands up guilty of this one comparing my ‘life timeline’. I just can’t help but reflect on my singleness when you are at an engagement party right? I guess there are healthy comparisons and others are downright self-destructive. Me? Well I sit somewhere in the middle.
I already know that there is something about a regular routine or ‘settling’ that scares me. For example, recently I was in paid to be in a helicopter and in a skateboard campaign which was awesome and I would never have been able to do it had I been working the 9-5. Though do these jobs pay the bills? Am I blurring work/life balance and running away from real adulting? Or have I just not found what I am looking for yet?
I have always been envious of those who have always known what they want to do. So the advice I am giving both you and myself is to really stop comparing and not care. Who cares if I’m not a mum by 30, who care’s if I still work in a café sometimes? I am exactly where I am meant to be – said a fellow Facebooker to me.
Maybe we should all take on Prince’s philosophy on birthdays. Prince said this to a man in an interview..
“I know that you had one birthday. You were born on a certain day. You had no more birthdays after that…. I don’t celebrate birthdays, so that stops me from counting days and keeps me looking like this.” - PRINCE
So Dear Faz,
The right job will present itself when it’s ready for you, (that doesn’t mean don’t look or keep open)
The right man will appear when I am not looking (but it’s ok to be on bumble )
And the rest will fall into place (your rego won’t, go get that done)
In the end do any of us know what we are doing? Or are we all just winging it.
2. QUESTION STUFF, THEN QUESTION IT AGAIN.
I pretty much just came up with this one, but I believe at 25 we have the capacity and the ability to continually question and evaluate our moral compass.
So ask yourself in the mornings if you are working towards fulfilling your goals, passions and staying informed with world changes and issues.
Where do I stand in politics?
What informed choices can I make?
What do I believe in?
We have already learnt at 25 our brains are at full function so we should begin to form our own solid sentiments about the world. We aren’t spring chickens any more and we need to create a strong sense of self. For example maybe we should learn and be more informed about politics and not just vote for who our parents do. We should read/watch and learn about the impact we as humans are having on the environment. Lastly we should question everyday how we feel about ourselves and whether the decisions we are making each day are nourishing or depleting us.
Last week I visited my psychologist and she asked me what is was that I wanted from life. What I wanted from a man and whether I was functioning with a conscious mind. Sadly enough.. I pretty much couldn’t answer those things and I left with some homework to do. I needed to question my goals and question again the WHAT, WHERE and how I would get to where I wanted to be.
3. HAVE SOME GOD DAMN CONFIDENCE
Remember you are not too old to fail. You are still young and can still take risks! So take them while you have the flexibility to do so.
Confidence is sexy!
I’ll admit, my confidence lacks at times...I am fearful to step into a full-time job, I’m scared of failure, not liking it or losing my freedom- thoughts that have left me stagnant for a while now. So I will take my own advice... DO NOT LET FEAR STOP YOU. Fear can be over exaggerated in our minds, consequently paralysing us from getting the things we really want.
So if you are reading this and thinking that you might deserve a pay rise, that you are actually still in love with that guy, that you want to quit your job and start your own business then DO IT. We fail, we get told no, and we try again because we have the strength to do so. Let’s not be those people in their thirties who have sat in the safe zone of mundane unhappiness!
A friend of mine left her dream dog job to start her own doggo business, another left modelling at an agency to hustle on her own and I told an ex of mine that I was still in love with him…
Have confidence, back yourself and don’t be afraid to ask for what you want. Life is too short.
“ To live would be an awfully big adventure” - Peter Pan.
4. LEARN TO COPE WITH SHIT.
If you haven’t had life hit the fan yet, at 25 you more than likely will experience it. Such is life! You will get a parking fine, you’ll lose a loved one, you’ll put on weight, something will break when you need it or you’ll have a crap day at work when your boss is being a downright dick. So learn to cope.
By all means, things can often get too tough or we may be too unstable to manage the stress so if you are deeply struggling reach out to a mental health professional. However, when life speed bumps occur (usually in shitty threes) we have to know what will help us pull us back into a calm space.
Whether that is going to the gym and punching a bag, getting a glass of wine with a girlfriend, swimming in the ocean or meditating, you need to know what the fastest route 66 it is to getting through the pain.
Yesterday I found out someone had been spreading and speaking nasty things about me to people, I was so hurt and I feared my reputation. So how did I cope? I vented my ass off to everyone around me until I was sick of hearing it myself, went for a drive and then put it to bed. DONE!
Turning 25 means we’ve gathered enough experience to learn from those painful moments. We know our hearts will mend, we know the sun will rise again, and our boss doesn’t hate us.
Pick yourself up, dust yourself up and try again, the show must go on! (But keep the wine close)
5. DON’T WASTE IT, EMBRACE IT
Fucking embrace that you know what style you like your room, that you start to respect a nice space.
That you can cook proper meals for yourself and others.
That you can hire a car;
That it’s sweet to have some ‘you’ days without FOMO of what your friends are doing.
That it’s rad to say no.
That you probably have some money to travel.
Embrace that you have the knowledge of how to manage money and your health.
And lastly just do whatever the fuck you would like to do!
There is no perfect timeline, there is only you putting one foot in front over the other to your personal goals.
Whatever that may be, live through it and make your timeline yours!